Axes in the movies are awesome. Lumberjacks get to look bad ass with them on their shoulders, townsfolk get to throw them into the skulls of zombies, and firefighters get to save hot, single chicks from burning buildings with them. In the real world however, it’s a different story. Most novices attempting to wield a real axe will almost certainly lop off a limb within 30 seconds. For those people, we recommend something just a little less deadly. Such as these axe-shaped lollipop ice trays. Sure, they don’t have the practical use of fending off black bears, but they make delicious treats and you won’t have to worry about having a metal rod where your femur used to be.

U.S. History wasn’t necessarily one of the most exciting classes in high school. But if George Washington had a lightsaber at his disposal, learning about the Revolutionary War would have been more fun than gym class.

What do you and Jesus have in common? The ability to walk on water. The Inflatable Walk on Water Mat is a 90’ sq. floating pad that supports up to 1,000 lbs. Made from reinforced 500-deiner fabric fused with PVC, this thing is perfect for everything from dance parties to sun tanning. Hopefully someone attaches this to a boat. We can see endless FAIL videos coming out of a “Who can stand on the mat the longest while going 60 m.p.h.” game.

In our opinion, Ping-Pong is one of the most underrated pastimes ever. It requires catlike reflexes, precision hitting, retro sweatbands, and a little bit of strategy. However, a new interpretation of the game, Quad Table Tennis, seems pretty haggard.

At this point, we all know that texting while driving is crazy. However, we never thought texting while walking was equally as dangerous. Watch as this guy plays on his phone and almost walks directly into a 400-pound black bear.

Forget machetes and slingshots, we found the ultimate home defense weapon – chickens, a huge horde of them. Watch them gang up and relentlessly wreak havoc in this video. In addition, the fact that each produces an egg per day means that they’re definitely a post-apocalyptic necessity.

Showing up to work hungover and reeking of alcohol is a great way to get fired. We have a simple solution – Duffy's Brew Original Beer Shampoo. Cover your booze breath with this hair wash that features bitter Cascade and Centennial hops, roasted barley, maltose and sucrose (used in the brewing process), and malt. So next time someone asks you, “long night?” simply smile and say, “nope, new shampoo.” Then proceed to dust the salt off their shoulder.

If showering isn’t your thing, we have great news for you. Presenting Chocolate Donut Soap – a cleanser that looks and smells just like a delicious donut. It’s time to curb that musky B.O. and make yourself smell like a fresh pastry. Now if they only could invent cotton candy scented deodorant.

This video is so ridiculous (and relevant with St. Patty’s right around the corner), it has to be watched. Check out Vader wearing a kilt, playing a bagpipe, and riding a unicycle all at the same time. Apparently, Jedis really do exist.

There’s nothing wrong with biking everywhere to cut down your carbon footprint. In fact, if you’re one of those environmentally conscious people, we salute you. But if you really want to take your hipster/hippie/treehugging appearance to the next level, you need this Bike Planter.